


Soup-Making for Dummies

by Nutriyum_Addict



Category: Parks and Recreation
Genre: Alternate Universe, Drunk Sex, F/M, Meet-Cute, Teacher-Student Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-08
Updated: 2015-07-14
Packaged: 2018-03-29 15:59:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3902212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nutriyum_Addict/pseuds/Nutriyum_Addict
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU: Ben is teaching an Insuring Fiscal Responsibility in Local Units of Government class and Leslie thinks he is a jerk.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is a silly AU. I’ve gotten a couple of prompts for a college or HS AU, which I don’t think I’d be very good at (plus there are so many awesome ones already), so then I started thinking about loopholes. Like…what if they were in their mid-30s (the same age as when they meet on the show), but taking a community education class?
> 
> But then I found I missed the _Ben holding her fate in his hands like a small bird_ aspect of everything. So then it went here. And now I am just following it…
> 
> Follow me on tumblr for more fic [nutriyumaddict](http://nutriyumaddict.tumblr.com)

It’s not so much the idea of taking a night class, because it isn’t that, she truly loves learning.

Just last week Leslie registered for two rec center classes starting next month– _Intro to Birdwatching_ and _So You Think You Can’t Make a Good Soup_. But, the new state-mandated _Insuring Fiscal Responsibility in Local Units of Government_ course that Ron is making her attend as the Parks Department representative, even if it is only four weeks long, sounds simply awful.

Fiscal responsibility is all fine and good, but what’s really important is enriching the lives of the people of Pawnee. That’s priceless.

The first Thursday night starts off okay. The professor is even kind of cute, if not a little nervous and nerdy.

His name is Ben Wyatt and he spends most of the first session talking about the need for local governments to cut back on programs and services. When he turns to write something on the blackboard, Leslie finds herself admiring the view–it’s probably a little inappropriate, but she can’t help it, he has a really cute butt.

But, as the night’s class continues, she has a tough time not raising her hand to point out why he’s wrong on several occasions, and she still manages to get into a debate with him a couple of times, while the rest of the attendees check their cell phones or look bored.

It’s actually too bad Ron didn’t opt to attend this training himself, Leslie thinks, he’d probably be giddy over the nonsense being presented tonight.

“But don’t you think as members of local government, we have a responsibility to actually do something positive? To provide services for the community and the people of Pawnee?” She asks from her spot right in the first row, not even bothering to raise her hand this time.

“If you have a surplus of funds, sure,” he responds. “Public education is important. Fixing potholes is important, after school programs are important–apparently basketball is especially important in Indiana. But extravagant spending on services–” he holds his hand up to halt her objection, “even important services, leads to audits and bankruptcies, and maybe even to a government shut down. Just the other day, I was looking through the community rec center course catalog and did you know that the Pawnee Parks and Recreation Department offers a soup-making class?”

Ben makes a face before continuing. “Local government doesn’t have the money to facilitate teaching people how to make soup. I mean,” he holds his hands up in exasperation, “go buy a cookbook.”

The rest of the class laughs as Leslie looks around, an annoyed look on her face.

As soon as the first session is over, she rushes up to the desk as Ben is putting his things away.

“Professor Wyatt?”

He looks up from his papers and laptop, smiles as if he thinks their heated sparring is over.

“Oh, I’m not a real professor or anything. Well,” Ben pauses, “I’m employed to run this class through a joint partnership between Pawnee Community College and the state government. But I have a regular job during the day.”

“So you’re not in local government either?” Leslie asks incredulously.

“Um, I was a long time ago, but I’m an accountant now. You know,” he pauses to give her a goofy grin, “sometimes they call be Bond. Municipal Bond.”

When Leslie doesn’t even crack a smile, he moves on. “I, um, work at an accounting firm near town, Tilton and Radomski.”

“So you’re not even a _real_ teacher?”

“Well, I wouldn’t say–”

“This situation is ridiculous,” she cuts him off, her voice getting louder. “You don’t know what you’re talking about!”

“I’m sorry?” He’s definitely not smiling at her now.

“Local government isn’t just about saving money. It’s about the people. You can’t just be so blasé. How are you even in charge of this class?”

“Again, I’m an accountant and I’m fiscally responsible, I’ve been hired by…look, I have a Master’s Degree in Finance from…you know what? I don’t owe you a justification for my position. I’m running this class, Ms. Knope and you need to pass it as the representative from the,” Ben glances down and looks at his print-out of the class participants and then makes a face. “Of course, the Parks and Recreation Department. So that is the situation. Now, I’ll see you next Thursday.”

And with that, he shoves the rest of the papers into his briefcase and quickly walks past her.

“Soup-making is important!” Leslie yells out after him, unable to stop herself from checking out his ass again as he leaves. She rolls her eyes. Jerk.


	2. Chapter 2

“He’s terrible,” Leslie tells Ann, as they sit on Ann’s couch after work the following Tuesday, snuggled up under opposite ends of the colorful afghan and drinking their way through a bottle of wine.

Originally Ann had grabbed a white from her fridge, but knowing how white wine gives her best friend a headache, Leslie had suggested the bottle of red on Ann’s kitchen counter instead.

Then they had opened the white wine anyway, after finishing up the red.

“Well, it’s just three more classes, right?” Ann asks sympathetically, refilling Leslie’s glass again.

“But he just talks about spreadsheets and audits like that’s all there is to local government!” Leslie scoffs. “I’ve tried to schedule about twenty meetings with him since Friday, to get him to understand that he’s presenting this material wrong, but he keeps emailing me back and saying that he doesn’t have office hours because he’s _not a real teacher_. What kind of a teacher doesn’t have office hours?”

“Maybe he doesn’t have an office? But, also, twenty emails sounds a bit excessive?”

“If he didn’t want class members to email him, he shouldn’t have put that information in the syllabus. And then he just stands there and talks about audits and numbers and then turns around teasingly and writes on the board. Oh! And if it were up to him, people would have to buy cookbooks and bird identification guides,” she answers, rolling her eyes and making a face.

Ann smiles at her, fills her own wine glass up again as she shakes her head. “I don’t understand that last part.”

“It’s okay,” Leslie sloppily but lovingly pats her best friend’s head. “You’re a beautiful, silkily-furred marmot and everyday you massage people’s hearts back to life.”

Ann smiles at her, drunkenly shaking her head. “I don’t actually–”

“Ugh. You know what I should do right now? Call him and tell him what I think about him. Leave a voice message. That would probably convince him to meet with me.”

“Do you have his number?”

Leslie nods and grins slyly, before reaching down to the floor to pull her planner up out of her bag. She flips through the pages until she finds what she’s looking for. It only took her a couple of favors and a few minutes to get Ben Wyatt’s phone number.

He was lot easier than she’d thought he would be.

“Ohhhh! You should totally call him!” Ann leans forward and grabs Leslie’s hand. “But not twenty times. Five or six tops.”

“Oh, definitely. Five or six phone calls is completely professional.”

“Completely.”

Seconds later, Leslie is hitting the numbers into her phone carefully, trying not to giggle. She clears her throat, straightens the collar of her blouse, and tries to hold a serious, all-business expression on her face.

That accomplished, she hits the little call icon.

After only a couple of rings, there’s a no-nonsense “hello,” in her ear, making Leslie’s eyes widen in surprise. While this had seemed like a great idea a few minutes ago, now she’s not completely sure.

She honestly expected to just leave him a message. But, nope, it’s him–Ben Wyatt and his stupid jerk-voice right in her earhole.

“Um. Hello. Hi. Yes. Is…your refrigerator running?” Of course it’s silly and dumb but it’s the first thing she can think of and then Leslie can’t help but burst into laughter afterwards.

Beside her, Ann’s eyes grow all big and she covers her mouth with her hand and snorts.

“What? My–”

“Your refrigerator. Is it running? If so, you should go catch it. And then shut it down for spending too much money on food!”

“Um, what? Who is this?”

She finds her groove. “You sir, are very incorrect in your thoughts about government services and you should meet with Leslie Knope. She is a smart, sophisticated, and professional lady, unlike yourself. No one likes your class anyway. I talked to everyone there and they all said you were teaching it wrong. Good day.”

Leslie hits the end call button triumphantly and sets her phone down on the couch.

“Oh my god,” Ann says, laughing. “You did that.”

“I did do that!” She agrees, nodding.

Leslie is still giggling when her phone starts ringing. She makes a face before snatching it from the cushion next to her and then gasps when she recognizes the phone number–it’s the same exact one she just crank called.

“Ann! Ann! He sixty-nined me!” She yells, holding her phone out to Ann. “Ann! What do I do?”

“He…what? Oh my god, when? Oh, wait, you mean…” Ann starts giggling. “ _Star sixty-nined_. And I’m pretty sure he didn’t need to do that, he just hit the return call button and–” Ann trails off when Leslie throws the still ringing cell phone at her. It lands right in Ann’s lap and both women just stare at it.

“What do I do?” Leslie repeats.

“Answer it,” Ann says decisively, with a nod of her head. “It’s your phone. And now he’s calling you. That’s exactly how you want it. Plus, now you have a home advantage field.”

Leslie smiles and repeats, “a _home advantage field_. I like it.” Leslie gives Ann a much-deserved high-five and grabs the phone.

“Hello?” She says, answering in a British accent, hoping to throw him off and confuse him.

“Hi.” The tone seems slightly annoyed but also a bit amused. “Is this Leslie Knope? From my Fiscal Responsibility class?”

“What? No. But even if it was, you’re the one calling me,” she declares before giving Ann another high-five.

“Are you drunk?”

“No. Are you drunk?”

“No. I was just sitting here at home, trying to watch _Blade Runner_ and this drunk woman called me.”

“Well, that’s weird. Why are you calling me to tell me this? How did you even get my number?”

“Okay. Stop. I know that drunk woman was you. Is you.”

“Me? No. Because I was here with my niece, _Torp…ness_ the whole time. And we’re playing Jenga and making owl scrapbooks, plus this isn’t even my phone. And I’m not dr–” she has to hold the phone away from her face when she burps softly, before she can add the _unk_ onto the end of her sentence.

When Leslie brings the phone back to her ear, he’s talking again.

“Look. Ms. Knope. I’m sorry you don’t like the class, but you can’t crank call me and then lie about it. I know it was you and honestly, you’re not that good at lying or being sneaky.”

“Yes, I am.” How dare he? She’s an excellent sneaker!

“No, you’re not,” Ben says, making her feel all indignant and warm--flushed. No, wait. That must be the wine.

“I’m great at being sneaky.” Leslie notices Ann make a face at her words and kind of shake her head in disagreement.

 _What?_ she mouths to her friend.

“Clearly you’re not,” his voice continues in her ear, and Leslie turns her attention back to her phone conversation. “Regardless, let’s just agree to get through the next three weeks, okay? Just pass the class even though you think you know better, ignore my hand-outs, refuse to listen to the ideas that I’m presenting, and then continue to do what you want until your government is shut down.”

“You’re a fascist,” she tells him hotly.

“Fine. I’m going to hang up now.”

“It’s not just numbers and spreadsheets! These are real people with real jobs in a real town that provides real services to its citizens. And these people are working in a real building with real feelings.”

“The building has feelings?”

“Maybe.”

“Goodnight Ms. Knope.”


	3. Chapter 3

The whole next day Leslie’s head feels like wet concrete–it probably doesn’t help much that she managed to sleep even less than her usual four hours. And god, last night she crank called Ben Wyatt, her teacher from the Fiscal Responsibility class.

The next class tomorrow is going to be unbearable.

She has to stop herself from groaning at the thought right in the middle of the cereal aisle of the grocery store. Leslie looks down along the colorful boxes, searching for something new and sugary to try for dinner, when she sees him.

He’s just a few feet away in his stupid plaid shirt, grey pants, and tan jacket.

“You have got to be fucking kidding me,” she mutters softly as Ben Wyatt looks over the boxes of oatmeal in front of him on the shelves.

Figures.

He turns his head and…she grabs a box of something called _Sugar Rice Pops_ and holds the box up right in front of her face.

She’s whispering, “ _please don’t see me, please don’t see me, please don’t–_ ” when he puts his hand lightly on top of the box and pushes it down.

“Hi.”

“Oh, uh, hi. Mr. Wyatt.”

“Ms. Knope,” he returns her greeting. He looks at the bright blue box in her hands. “These any good?”

She shrugs. “I don’t know. I was using them to hide behind. So, no. Not really good for that.”

“Yeah. You are not sneaky,” he says, smiling at her. “I think we got off on the wrong foot. You know, last night on the phone. Well, and last week in class too.”

Leslie returns the box to the shelf and sighs. “Call me Leslie.”

“Ben,” he answers back. “Look. Do you want to go get a beer? You look like you could use a beer.”

“I’m still hungover from last night,” she says, then reconsiders briefly before nodding. "Yeah. Okay.“

They end up at The Bulge, which is conveniently only a couple of blocks from the market. After some onion rings and a beer each sitting at the bar, they move the next round of drinks to a small, quiet table in the corner and end up side-by-side in the cozy booth.

"Okay, here’s one– _You can’t wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club_ ,” Leslie tells him, sharing another one of her favorite quotes.

“Jack London?” Ben guesses and then takes a sip of his drink.

“Yeah!” she smiles in surprise. “Yeah. You like Jack London?”

Ben scrunches up his face like she just asked him a really stupid question but then relaxes and grins at her. “I only read _White Fang_ like twenty times when I was a kid.”

“How about the biography about him? An Am–”

“ _American Life_? Yeah,” Ben tells her. “I have that at home somewhere too.”

“I love biographies,” Leslie shares excitedly. “Have you read _Wilderness Warrior, Theodore Roosevelt and the Crusade for America_?”

Ben shakes his head.

“I think you would like it. It’s about merging preservation and patriotism into the quintessential American ideal. Hey, that’s just like how providing services and–”

“Ah, here we go. I thought we were just having a beer?”

“That was before. Now we’re drinking _Knopetails_ ,” she says holding her glass up and clinking it with his.

Ben relents, laughing. “Fair enough. But hey, what is the deal with you and this bar? You have a drink named after you and, well, honestly this doesn’t seem like a place you would normally–”

“I’m sort of a gay hero,” she tells him. “Last year, I married two penguins at the zoo, and it turned out they were both gay.”

“A penguin wedding?”

“ _Mm-hmm_ ,” Leslie confirms, draining the last of her second Knopetail. She reaches down for the cherry at the bottom of the martini glass and pops it in her mouth, as she holds onto the stem.

“That’s cute,” he comments, still grinning at her. It’s sort of an adorable, dopey grin and suddenly Leslie find herself really wanting kiss him.

Wait. What?

Instead, she says quickly, “It was so cute. But enough about how cute the gay penguin wedding was. Why are you such a hard ass about fiscal responsibility?”

“Good lord, really?” Ben sighs, but not angrily. “Okay, look. When I was eighteen, I became mayor of my hometown in Minnesota, and I used every last dollar we had to open a giant winter sports complex. I called it Icetown.”

“Ah, so that’s when you were in local government. And your sports complex turned out great, and everyone loved it, right?”

“Uh, yeah, kinda. Oh wait, no. It was never completed and then I got impeached. The newspaper headline was _Icetown costs ice clown his town crown_.”

“Oh,” Leslie makes a sympathetic face. “Well, the headline was kind of catchy.”

“Yeah. Catchy,” he trails off before muttering, “they were big into rhymes in Partridge.”

“Ben,” she says his name while moving closer to him in the booth, so close that the sides of their thighs are touching. It makes her feel nervous for some reason, but she ignores it and tells him truthfully, “Ben. I think Icetown sounds fun and amazing. And the point is, even if it didn’t work out, at least you tried something.”

“Well, that’s nice of you to say, but…” He trails off and looks down at the table, starts fiddling with the edge of his napkin.

“I’m not just being nice,” she assures him, covering his hand with hers. “You tried to create something but it didn’t work. So, try something else.”

Ben smiles and looks up at her. Just then a Bulge server stops by their table, his sudden appearance startling Ben.

“Anything else tonight? Maybe a blow job on the house?”

“Oh, um, no that’s not necessary,” Ben replies, getting all confused-looking before Leslie can even respond. And then unfortunately, he just continues to talk. “I mean, who hasn’t had gay thoughts, but um…but I’m not actually–”

“You’re cute and all honey, but I meant the drink,” the server interrupts, his tone all sassy and amused, while Leslie dissolves into giggles beside her companion.

“We’ll take two blow jobs. Thanks, Mike,” she jumps in to say, as Ben sinks further down into the booth.

“Oh god. That was embarrassing. I’m drunk. You got me drunk and flustered and unable to distinguish drinks from come-ons.”

“Well, that one is a little confusing,” she says sympathetically and then continues to giggle next to a still-blushing Ben. “Do you not get offered blow jobs by strangers often, then?”

It starts with a snort and then he’s laughing too. “I really don’t. That was a first. Or well, it would have been.”

“Better luck next time?”

He’s still smiling at her as Mike sets the whipped cream-topped shots down at their table a couple of minutes later.

“Now, to do it right, you’re not supposed to use your hands,” she tells him seriously.

“Oh. Well, I don’t know about that…wait. Are we talking about the drinks or…?” He jokes back, right before he starts laughing again.

And for how infuriating Ben Wyatt was that first night in class, Leslie can’t believe how giggly and fun (and honestly, pretty sexy) he is while drinky. Drunky. _Drunk_.

“The drinks, Ben.” Then she winks at him, before she prepares to completely blow his mind.

She hopes she still remembers how to do this–college was quite a number of years ago, she thinks, and she really only watched her roommate do it a couple of times at the bar near their dorm.

Leslie leans over and at first accidentally bumps her nose against the top of her drink. Crap on a crouton.

But then, it all comes back to her as she licks the mountain of whipped cream off ( _mmmmmmm_ ), before sliding her mouth around the rim of the glass, and lifting it up easily.

Then she moves her head back and swallows the drink whole. When she finally uses her right hand to pull the empty glass away, Leslie gives him what she hopes is a huge, sexy grin.

Ben is staring at her like he can’t believe what he just saw.

Yep.

Blew. His. Mind.

“You’ve got…um,” Ben finally says, motioning towards her face. “Some whipped cream on your nose. I can…hey, come here.”

She moves closer, thinking he’s going to brush it off with his finger or maybe a cocktail napkin, but he doesn’t do either of those two things. Ben moves in close and softly brushes the tip of his tongue against her sticky skin, before licking the whipped cream off her nose in earnest.

Ben’s tongue is wet and soft and he’s kind of got a light grip on her arm when he does the licking and the sucking and Leslie kind of stops breathing.

She didn’t even realize that she had shut her eyes, but she must have, because when she opens them, Ben is staring right at her. He looks as surprised as she feels.

“Okay. I just licked whipped cream off one of my students. I’m pretty sure I’m not supposed to do that. Also, um, there’s no way I can drive home.”

Leslie just smiles and takes his hand, tugging him towards the end of the booth. “Come on. I wanted to show you that Roosevelt book anyway.”

Ben looks at her and then down at his still-full drink. He hands her the glass. “Want my whipped cream? You certainly seemed to have enjoyed yours.”

Leslie breaks the no hands rule and takes it from him and licks the whipped cream off the top. She hands it back.

“I’m going to use my hands because I’m pretty sure if I tried to do what you did earlier, I would end up with blow job all over my shirt.”

Ben downs the rest in one swallow, before he slides out of the booth right behind her.

When he stands up, she can’t help but notice that the front of his pants look a little tight and she feels the warmth from all the alcohol and the recent turn of events rush to her cheeks.

Holy crap–she’s about to take her teacher home and show him her Teddy Roosevelt biography. Maybe more? Yep. She’s definitely going to share all of her biographies with him.

The walk to her house from The Bulge is only about fifteen minutes as they drunkenly giggle and hold hands the entire way.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is mature. Talky sexy-times! Yay!

“Oh my god.”

Leslie turns around and looks back at Ben as he stands frozen in her open doorway.

It’s not that bad.

But…she supposes that her organization system is a bit of a surprise at first. Ann doesn’t get it either.

“I probably need to straighten up a little,” she tells him apologetically, picking up a stray birdhouse and putting it on a stack of cardboard boxes that are hiding most of her couch from view. “It looked great last year when I had a dinner party, but then I kind of let it slip back into–”

“No,” Ben tells her. “No. It’s okay. I, um, it's…unique? You, um…”

She watches as he trails off and looks around, before he picks up one of her old _Newsweek_ magazines, (July 20, 1992, she can tell from the cover design), from a pile of puzzle boxes, stacked on top of some old phone books. He finishes his original sentence with, “have a lot of interests?”

“I do,” Leslie agrees, smiling. “But I’m still working on a way to keep everything in its place, I guess.”

Ben frowns, putting the magazine back down. “Have you tried a bulldozer?”

She looks at him and he meets her eyes, before his face softens considerably.

“I’m sorry. Sorry. That was a stupid joke, I shouldn’t have said that…but, uh…” he shakes his head. “I mean I was just a little surprised at first but it's…” Ben looks around her living room, clearly grasping for the right word. “Cozy?”

“It is,” she agrees. “And it would really just take an hour or two to organize,” she tells him.

When she turns around Ben is staring at her, but then starts nodding quickly. “Um, sure. Yeah. Definitely. An hour. Or two. Yep.”

Leslie takes his hand. “Come on. Most of my books are upstairs anyway. Just stick to the path and you’ll be fine.”

Her stairs are fairly cleared off and they make it easily, she only stops once to step around a box of winter boots, causing Ben to bump into her back. He just laughs and pushes her hair out of the way and kisses her neck. It’s the first time he’s kissed her and it’s just so easy and relaxed–like it’s completely second nature for Ben to nuzzle into her and do that.

When she hands him the Teddy Roosevelt book from her overflowing bookshelf he smiles at her. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”

And then they kind of grin at one another for a few seconds.

“Look, Leslie. I’m not expecting anything. We’re a little drunk and I can just call a cab and–”

She cuts him off by moving forward and kissing him.

Leslie just kind of grabs his face and pulls him to her and Ben seems happy enough to go where she puts him–-right against her mouth. Ben’s lips are warm and he enthusiastically returns her kiss, wrapping his arms around her and she can feel the the book still clutched in his hand, as he rests it against her back.

“I don’t want you to call a cab. I want you to stay here,” she confirms, her hands gripping his still-on tan jacket. She pushes it down as Ben sets the biography on her bed.

And then she squeezes and pats his ass, because really she’s wanted to do _that_ since last Thursday.

“Oh thank god,” he returns, pulling her in for another kiss.

She’s still smiling and their teeth almost hit at first, but that just makes her start to giggle.

The next few moments are a flurry of activity–kissing, laughing some more, trying to drunkenly get clothing off and newly exposed skin explored. They end up on her bed, Leslie just in her underwear–luckily, it’s the sexy black pair, she thinks, after Ben gets her blouse unbuttoned and her pants pulled off, while Ben is stripped down to a pair of dark blue boxer briefs.

When he turns his head to the side, she takes advantage of his new position to lean over and kiss his neck, and starts sucking on the skin gently.

“You really do have a lot of political biographies,” he says, looking at the stack of books on her bedside table.

And it seems a little strange to stop making out for a break to talk about books, but it’s also kind of working for her.

Really, it’s kind of crazy, but this whole night is definitely working for her. Onion rings. Sugary, boozy drinks. Making out on her bed with her cute and sexy teacher.

Leslie usually likes to rush and get to the good part but tonight, it all seems like the good part.

“Sometimes I think about how different historical people would kiss,” she tells him, her eyes trailing over the different titles by her bed-– _An Unfinished Life, Promises to Keep, A Personal and Public Life_ , and _A Perfect Union_ , a few of her favorites.

She leans over him, her breasts pushing against Ben’s bare chest and even with her bra still on she has to hold in a shudder.

“Like who?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” she points to the stack. “Dolly Madison. JFK. Eleanor Roosevelt. Joe Biden.”

“Each other?” Ben asks, looking confused.

“No. Well…” Leslie makes a face like she’s considering it. “Now I am. But no. In general. Like, this,” she moves in even closer and brushes her lips to his, then nibbles briefly on his lower lip, before rubbing her nose against his, making Ben laugh.

Leslie pulls back and smiles. “See? That was how Abigail Adams would kiss.”

“Hmmmm, I like it. Okay. My turn…” Ben trails off and his eyes narrow, like he’s trying to come up with a plan.

While he thinks, she takes in his appearance--Ben's hair is all messy and he’s in her bed, mostly undressed and she can’t help but compare this to the last time she had a man in her bedroom. Justin. _He_ would probably just be name dropping people he’d met and how they had kissed at this point, or suggesting they try something complicated and uncomfortably pretzel-like from the _Kama Sutra_ , (it took days for her hip to feel normal again after that one time).

But Ben just looks right at her and tugs her down next to him, while he sits up and leans over.

“Alright. Got one. And this…” he pauses dramatically, “this is how Han Solo would kiss.”

Ben lowers his mouth to hers assertively, his lips pressing against hers briefly, before he’s touching his tongue to hers in a way that makes the pit of her stomach drop. When his hand starts caressing her hip she moans. Loudly.

“Whoa, Han likes the tongue,” she tells him afterwards, unable to start giggling.

Ben just smiles at her as he starts working his way down her body, kissing and licking a path to her breasts while she moves her hands back and unhooks her bra. He groans at the sight of her bare breasts and then resumes his path, licking at one nipple, tugging it gently with his teeth, while his fingers lightly tease the other one.

“Han does like the tongue. But the real question is, does Abigail like the tongue?” As he says it, he looks at her and starts tugging her underwear down her hips and thighs.

_Oh._

Soon, the black panties are down and off, somewhere on the floor by her bra, and Ben’s hands are on the inside of her thighs as he spreads her legs apart. He kisses one hip and then the next.

Then each knee.

She impatiently wiggles her hips and he looks up at her, smirks and kisses just beneath her belly button.

“Oh my god, you _are_ a jerk!” She complains, making him laugh.

“And you’re too impatient,” he tells, her, still not touching her where she really wants him to.

“No,” Leslie shakes her head. “No. I’m being really good tonight.”

He doesn’t respond, just snorts in laughter and finally lowers his head.

If Justin was technically adept at this, then Ben is a fucking artist once he really gets going.

Between his fingers and his tongue, the way his hands slide along the inside of her thighs as he holds her open, Leslie is gasping and moaning quickly. His tongue sweeps through her folds, then he scatters little kisses between her legs.

Tentatively he pushes his tongue inside, then licks at her like a lollipop. And when he starts curling his finger inside, the tip of his tongue flicking eagerly at her clit again, she’s gripping his hair in her hands and coming hard–the kind of orgasm that peaks and then stays there, right at that spot for longer than expected, and then finally starts rippling out and shattering.

When Ben looks up at her, he seems really proud of himself. And also, his boxer briefs are decidedly tenting in front.

Wait? Why the hell is he still wearing those?

Leslie sits up quickly and rushes towards him, it almost looks like she startles Ben, but when her hand brushes against him, he moans approvingly. And when she eases his underwear down past his knees, freeing him fully, Ben definitely seems all good with the recent turn of events.

He may be all annoyingly hard-assed about budgets, but he’s got a great-looking penis.

She kisses him while she strokes him, swallowing all the sexy noises he’s making. When her thumb brushes across the tip where there’s already moisture, he shudders into her. And maybe it’s because she’s already partaken in one blow job this evening (and had the whipped cream from a second), she quickly decides she wants nothing more than to feel him in her mouth too.

Ben seems to agree because he makes a completely brand new noise when she brushes her tongue around him and takes him inside.

“Oh god, that feels amazing, but, you should stop if you want to do anything else,” he tells her after only a minute or so.

Reluctantly, Leslie replaces her mouth with her hand, keeping a hold on him while she starts rummaging around in her drawer. She tosses something small on the bed and turns back around, a triumphant look on her face.

"Sweetums?” Ben asks, holding the wrapped condom up.

“If you can’t beat ‘em, Sweetums,” she tells him.

“Right. No. I get it, but it’s real, right? I mean, it’s not made out of candy or something?” But even as he’s asking, he’s eagerly ripping the packaging open.

“No, Ben.”

Leslie rolls the condom quickly but carefully down, while he still looks slightly skeptical, but mostly on-board with the current condom situation.

“It’s a real…” she looks at the discarded wrapper. “Watermelon-flavored condom. And, yay! Unexpired. But if they were made out of actual candy that would be so awesome.”

“Yeah. That would be kind of cool,” he agrees, almost as a reminder that they both are still a bit drunk.

After some initial navigating, Leslie ends up on her back and Ben’s thrusts, once he finally presses inside, are slow and sexy, giving her time to adjust.

His hips push into hers and she can’t help but think that this still doesn’t really feel like a first time. Sure, it’s a little clumsy at first, while she wiggles underneath and slides her calves up near his waist, but she’s not nervous like she usually is when she sleeps with someone new.

Of course she’s a little tipsy, but Ben is making her feel good. Really, really good. Like she doesn’t have to rush through it all to get to the finish line or plan everything out.

It’s just happening and she’s in the moment and it’s…fun.

“You know, I like you a lot when you’re not calling me a jerk,” he tells her, thrusting in deep and then kind of rocking his hips again.

Leslie moans at the sensation, and reaches down to cup his ass, feel him working into her. “Well, you’re not acting like a jerk right now. Oh, god. That feels so good.”

He laughs. “Oh, okay. And good.”

“But now it’s my turn to be on top.”

She lowers her legs from around his hips and they sloppily roll over, giggling and he even slips out momentarily, but then she’s right there straddling him and sinking down.

It doesn’t take long before she’s coming again and then Ben is right behind her, gripping her hips and thrusting up, shaking and shuddering beneath her.

After cleaning up briefly and settling back in her bed, Leslie cuddles against him, while Ben’s hand lightly circles over the skin of her hip.

“You know, the rec center classes are important. There’s a class on dealing with illness, one on birdwatching, using Quick Books,” she gives him a look that says, _that should be right up your alley, nerd-boy_. “And yes, even soup-making. It’s not--”

“Good lord, can we not debate this now? I mean, we just had–”

“A really, very nice time?” Leslie finishes his sentence.

Ben smiles sleepily. “A really, very nice time. How about I promise not to lecture you on fiscal responsibility when we’re not wearing pants, if you promise to cool it with the rec center classes just a little bit.”

“Okay,” Leslie agrees. “But, you should appreciate the classes more, Ben, because that’s where I learned to French kiss. And make biscuits. And--”

“There’s a class on French kissing?” Ben asks, his brow furrowed.

“No. When I was in high school, there was a boy in my biscuit-making class and he--”

He silences her with a kiss, decidedly French in style.

Then they talk a little bit more about history and even how Han Solo’s kisses would be different than kisses from Indiana Jones. 

She doesn’t remember falling asleep but vaguely remembers dozing off while Ben was going off on some tangent about the _Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull_ and refrigerators and…wolverine claws?

The next morning when she wakes up, Leslie is surprised when she looks at her clock–it’s seven-thirty. She completely overslept her usual five-thirty internal alarm.

Leslie’s even more surprised to discover that Ben is gone.


	5. Chapter 5

“Okay, what’s the emergency?” Ann asks, walking out to the City Hall courtyard at nine in the morning. Leslie reaches to accept the triple mocha in her friend’s out-stretched hand, just as Ann sits down at the table beside her.

“Ann, you exotic roasted coffee bean. I slept with him,” Leslie says quickly and then takes a sip of her coffee. Thank god for Ann…and coffee mixed with chocolate, she thinks.

“Who?” Her friend’s eyes widen as she looks around the thankfully deserted courtyard. But then Ann starts to smile regardless of her disbelief. “I thought you were going to go home and eat cereal for dinner last night.”

“I was, but I went to the store first and ran into Ben and then we went to the Bulge for a beer. And we got onion rings and Knopetails and blow jobs and then, I took him home and totally did sex things with him, naked in bed. Oh, and I also loaned him my Theodore Roosevelt biography. You know? The one about preservation and patriotism and how– ”

“Hold on. What?” Ann interrupts, looking confused again.

“Ben. Ben Wyatt.” Leslie lowers her voice. “You know, my teacher from the Financial Responsibility class. We had sex.”

“Oh my god. The fascist? You had sex with the fascist? From the phone the other night?”

Leslie sighs. “He’s a really cute fascist. Who likes Jack London, used to be an 18-year old mayor of his hometown, and who does really amazing things with his tongue now.”

“Oh, really?” Ann asks, grinning at her.

“Yeah. From what I remember. It was awesome…a couple of times. And Ann, he left me aspirin and a glass of water by the bed. I don’t even know where my aspirin is–”

“That does not surprise me.”

“But then he also snuck off while I was still sleeping and took my Teddy Roosevelt biography, so I’m probably not getting that back. There was a note…something about having to rush home and let his dog out. He claims that he tried to wake me up, but he–-”

“Well, you are hard to wake up sometimes.”

Leslie nods. “I know, but Ann. His dog? _He had to let his dog out?_ Doesn’t that sound kind of…I don’t know, made up? Like he just wanted to get away quickly while I was unconscious? Has a guy ever had sex with you and then said that to you the next morning? On a piece of paper…well, on the back of an old envelope that he must have found in the bathroom in your old-but-still-usable envelopes pile?”

Ann purses her lips and shakes her head. “No. I don’t think so, but–-” 

“No, of course not, you seductive she-minx. Who would sneak out of your house after having sex with you?” 

“Leslie–-” 

“I had a feeling that this had been going too well lately. You know, with Dave and then Justin–they were both relatively normal. Oh, did I ever tell you? Mark had to rush home the next morning for an important meeting. It was a Sunday.” 

Ann frowns as Leslie continues. 

“Once, a guy crawled along the floor in my dorm and tried to open the door and leave without me seeing him. One other time, this guy pretended to get a cell phone call right afterwards. He actually made little beeping noises and then talked into an imaginary phone–when he hung up he said his aunt had just died and he had to go to the emergency funeral.” 

“Oh no, ” Ann says shaking her head. “That’s–-” 

“This one guy pretended to go take a shower and then he escaped out my bathroom window–he left his shoes in my bedroom, I think I still have them in the closet somewhere. Oh, and spooning isn’t always positive–especially when there are real spoons involved.” 

“Leslie, that’s all horrible and they were all really, really stupid. I’m sure that’s not what’s going on here.” 

Leslie shuts her eyes and groans. “This is bad. This is the worst. This is a massive, swirling poopnado of horrible. This is almost as bad as crank-calling my teacher and then having to go to class. Except now _I crank-sexed_ him too. I crank-sexed him last night and tonight I have to pretend he has an imaginary dog and it’s going to be very, very awkward.” 

She sighs and puts her head down on the table. Leslie can feel Ann sympathetically rubbing her on the shoulder and it does make her feel a little bit better. 

“It’ll be okay,” Ann promises, just as Leslie’s phone alerts her to a text. When she looks at it, she’s surprised to see it’s from Ben. There’s even a photo too. 

_Good morning. I was afraid that my note sounded weird so here’s me and my dog, Champion this morning on our walk. Also, I had a really, very nice time last night. See you in class later. Be prepared for fiscal responsibility, Ms. Knope! Or should I say Ms. Adams :)_

“Oh my god, he has a real dog! He wasn’t just trying to leave quickly this morning,” she shouts out. Then Leslie looks around to make sure her and Ann are still alone in the courtyard. 

Crap. 

Of course, Councilman Howser is now over in the far corner eating what looks like an egg sandwich and he obviously just heard her excited outburst. Leslie gives him a quick nod and an, “enjoy your breakfast, Councilman Howser,” before turning her attention back to Ann. 

“What?” 

“Ben,” Leslie says quieter. “He just texted me and there’s a photo of his dog. He sent me a _dog pic_.” 

“Of course he has a dog.” But even as she says it, Ann looks more than a little relieved too. “I knew he did. And he probably did try to wake you up. Really, Leslie, you are impossible to wake up when you’re overly exhausted. And you’ve been telling me how you haven’t been sleeping well lately. A whole week with less than three hours of sleep each night had to catch up with you at some point.” 

Leslie nods and shows her the text message and accompanying image. 

“Oh, he is cute,” her friend says. Then Ann looks at the picture on Leslie’s phone more closely. “Wait. Does his dog only have three legs? And why does he call you Ms. Adams?” 

“Huh?” Leslie asks as she types out a text in response. How many winky faces is too many? After she decides that three is just the right amount for two sentences, she hits send. 

Then she studies the photo closer. Yep. That is definitely a three-legged dog. 

“Oh, don’t worry about that, it’s fine. It was a thing last night…Han Solo and Abigail Adams, just doing tongue stuff to each other, you know, nothing too weird. Okay, pros: he’s cute, is really good at sex stuff, and he has a three-legged dog which means he’s kind and easily susceptible to cute things,” Leslie says. 

“And cons: he’s all numbers-this and no services-that and he’s my teacher for the next three weeks, which is probably crossing all kinds of ethical lines. Oh, wait. Unless the dog had four legs when Ben got him, then that one is a con. But, I think I can work with this.” 

Ann nods and smiles. “Ben sounds like a good guy. Aside from the ethics things. And possibly the missing dog leg.” 

“He is, I think. And to be fair, I did get him drunk before he sucked whipped cream off my nose,” she says, ignoring Ann’s lovely, bewildered expression. 

“Okay, this is what I’m wearing to class tonight, how do I look?” Leslie stands up and models her cute blue and white polka dot dress, tugs the top down to show a bit more cleavage. 

It’s the outfit she picked out early this morning when she was absolutely, positively determined not to get into another Mark situation. Determined to make Ben Wyatt absolutely regret _fuck and run_ -ning her. 

“What are you going for?” 

“Well, earlier it was, _eat your heart out, you blew it_ , but now it’s _sophisticated with a hint of slutty_ and hmmm, also _hi, I jumped your bones last night-–that was fun. We should do that again._ ” 

“Bulls-eye. It’s so nice to see you so happy about a guy.” 

“Thanks. But we still have to make it through class tonight without it being too weird. How can I just act like a normal student in his class when I’ve…” Leslie leans in close. “Had certain body parts of his in my mouth?” 

Ann’s eyebrows shoot up, before she teases, “His elbow?” 

Leslie laughs, shakes her head, and adds (probably a bit too loudly), “Oh, you beautiful, naive newborn baby. No, Ann. It was his penis.” 


	6. Chapter 6

Class that night goes slowly, if for no other reason than she’s a bit hungover again.

It also doesn’t help that Leslie tries her hand at being coy, getting to the room a mere two minutes before the start time of seven o'clock. Aside from sharing a quick smile with Ben while he’s setting up a Powerpoint presentation, all the spots up front are already taken and she has to find a seat in back.

Of course, the only one open is next to Joe Fantringham from Pawnee’s Sanitation Department, causing Leslie to mutter an “oh boy,” to herself as she sits down.

“Looking good these days Knope,” Joe whispers to her, his words accompanied with one of his trademark leers, all while Ben is busy answering a student’s question up front. “What do you say after this, we head out to the parking lot? My van-–”

As she interrupts Joe to quietly decline, she notices Ben watching her instead of paying attention to the comments from the student in the front row. She gives him a grin, which he returns and then gets flustered and seems to forget what he’s talking about for a few seconds.

God. He’s so adorable when he’s _umm-ing_ repeatedly and nervously rustling his papers around–like he doesn’t even know how much he’s turning her on.

Later, when Ben makes a comment about neighboring Eagleton and their practically inevitable, upcoming budget disaster, Leslie needs to grip onto the desk in order to keep from rushing at him and knocking him down with hot, open-mouthed kisses. Because that would probably not be a good idea in the middle of his lecture on Insuring Fiscal Responsibility in Local Units of Government.

Right.

It’s after class, when he’s slowly gathering his things up and Leslie is doing the same (after turning sewage Joe and an invitation to a _toilet party_ down yet again), that she makes her way up to the front, just as the last of the other students are filing out.

“Mr. Wyatt.”

“Ms. Knope,” he answers, unable to hide a small smile.

“Benjamin…Ben,” she adds, moving closer and okay, it’s not so much awkward that she’s had his penis in her mouth, as it is super, super sexy.

“Lesliemin…Leslie.”

They grin dumbly at each other for a few more seconds.

“You were surprisingly unopinionated in class tonight.”

“Well,” she starts to respond, “I wouldn’t say that, I just figured that I could maybe…tell you my opinions on how you’re doing this all wrong later. Outside of the classroom?”

Ben snorts at her words, as he starts absentmindedly rubbing his thumb back and forth on the corner of his briefcase and Leslie can almost imagine exactly how that little movement of his would feel on her skin instead.

She takes a step closer and so does Ben, as he looks right at her and she can definitely remember him giving her that same look last night, right when he finally pushed inside her and moaned.

“Oh really?” He says finally, seeming much more flirty and less annoyed with her than he was during their first classroom encounter last week.

“Yeah. We could talk about–-”

“Ben Wyatt!”

At the sudden intrusion, Ben jumps in surprise and kind of hits some filing cabinets near the desk, before they both turn towards the door to see Chris Traeger walking into the classroom.

“And Leslie Knope,” Chris adds enthusiastically. “Literally, two of my favorite people.”

“Oh,” Leslie makes a face and then looks at Chris and then Ben, utterly confused. “What-–”

“Chris,” Ben says, slowly nodding. “Uh, that’s right. We’re getting together tonight. After my class.”

“Did you forget?” Chris asks, looking just a bit hurt.

“Oh, no. No. No not at all,” Ben says in a way that makes Leslie pretty sure he forgot. Wait…Ben knows the new Pawnee City Manager?

She makes a face and Chris must notice her confusion because he tells her, “Leslie, Ben and I are old friends. And we had plans to go out and catch up tonight.”

“Right. Right,” Ben nods his head aggressively. “Um, Ms. Knope here is from the Pawnee Parks and Recreation Department…well, you know that, she works for you. Ms. Knope is also in my class. And she was just asking me a couple of follow-up questions about the lecture tonight.” Ben turns to her. “So. I hope that answers your question.”

“Oh. Yeah,” Leslie agrees, matching Ben’s enthusiastic nodding. “It does. Perfectly. I should go. I need to study.”

“That’s the spirit!” Chris tells her as she readjusts her bag over her shoulder. “And Leslie, I would invite you along with us, but really since Ben is your teacher, it might look kind of unethical for you to socialize with him outside of class.”

@ @ @ @ @ @ @

Leslie’s only been home from Pawnee Community College for about two hours or so before her cell phone starts ringing. When she looks at it, she’s not too surprised to see it’s from Ben.

When he responds to her greeting, his hi is warm and friendly, like he’s been looking forward to talking to her, like maybe he called her first thing after getting home from his night out with Chris and the possibility makes her smile.

“My refrigerator isn’t running,” she tells him quickly, jokingly, before settling back on her couch. She sets the Parks binder she’s been working on aside and gives Ben her full attention.

“No, it’s probably not. Believe it or not, I wasn’t going to ask you that. This isn’t a crank-call,” he insists.

“So.”

“So,” Ben agrees.

“That was weird. Earlier. I-–”

“Yeah. Leslie, here’s the thing,” he interrupts. “Since he’s City Manager, Chris is technically your boss. And knowing him like I do, I know that he was very serious about the socializing outside of class and that he should definitely not find out that we uh, did what we did while you’re enrolled in this course. You could get in trouble if it looks like we did that so I would pass you.” Ben pauses. “Wait. You didn’t do that to make sure you get a passing grade, right?”

“No,” Leslie assures him, too surprised to be offended. “We did that because we were drunk and you’re cute. But also, I’m going to get a more-than-passing grade just fine, thank you. And I don’t have to have awesome sex with you for that to happen.”

“Right. Of course,” Ben agrees quickly, his voice all warm and rushed in her ear. “And, um, you’re very cute too.”

She smiles and has to stop herself from audibly giggling into the phone at his compliment. Instead, she asks, “But I don’t understand. How do you know Chris?”

“Oh, that. We actually used to work together. We spent a couple of years on the road, doing state audits around Indiana.”

"Really?”

“Yes. So, I do know what I’m talking about. But anyway, I quit that a couple of years ago, got sick of traveling. Settled down in Indianapolis.”

“What made you do that?”

“My girlfriend.”

Leslie frowns. You have got to be kidding me, she thinks. This…again?

“Oh, no,” Ben says in a rush. “Wait. No. I mean my _then-girlfriend_. My ex-girlfriend. Not my now-girlfriend. I don’t have a _now-girlfriend_. We’re not together anymore, we haven’t been for almost a year. Rebecca lives in Denver.”

“Oh.” She releases a breath she didn’t even realize she was holding.

“Yeah. And then I got the job at Tilton and Radomski. I wanted a change, so I moved out here from Indy.”

“And you’re not seeing anyone?” She prods, just wanting to clarify for sure.

“No,” he assures her and she can practically hear the smile in his voice when he starts talking again. “Well, there is a blonde _pain in the ass_ in this fiscal responsibility class that I’m teaching. She’s pretty cute. And she’s read a surprising number of political biographies.”

Leslie laughs, relief flowing throughout her body. “She sounds awesome.”

“She is…except her house is kind of terrifying.”

“It’s not that bad. I have a system,” Leslie insists, just as she pushes a box of old egg beaters sitting on the coffee table with her outstretched foot. “So, hey, here’s something I have to ask, your dog–-”

“Champion?”

“Yeah. Did he only have three legs when you got him?”

Ben laughs and when he does, it definitely makes her wish he was sitting on her couch beside her rather than all the way over at his place. “Yes. I went to the shelter a couple of months after the break-up. I guess I was kind of lonely. I was going to get a cat or something, but I don’t know, how do you not adopt a three-legged dog?”

“God. That is so cute.”

“Oh yeah?”

Leslie can almost hear Ben’s smile through the phone.

During their discussion Leslie also learns that after six months, Ben is still slowly gaining Champion’s trust, and that he’s kind of unfulfilled and unhappy at his accounting job and wants to quit (too much estate planning and helping corporations find accounting loopholes, according to Ben), but his boss Barney Varmn seems so attached to him that Ben can never seem to bring himself to actually give notice.

Leslie bites her tongue to keep from telling Ben that she actually knows Barney–that he’s one of the Community Rec Center instructors.

Of course it’s the perfect segue into trying to explain to him again why community classes are so important, but it seems wrong to bring that up again when Ben is opening up to her about something personal. So she saves it.

She’ll just tell him the next time she sees him. Maybe right before she jumps his bones again? Before the pants come off? Yes, perfect.

“If you did quit, what would you do?”

“Okay, don’t laugh–”

“I’m not going to laugh,” Leslie assures him.

“Well, I have this idea for a brand-new gaming experience. I’ve been calling it the _Cones of Dunshire_ and it’d be a multi-player, figurine-based, strategy fantasy game with two wizards, a Maverick, an arbiter, two warriors, a corporal, and a ledgerman–”

He’s still explaining everything when Leslie can’t help it–-she giggles. A lot. He’s such a nerdy, smart, hot little hummingbird…who likes cone metaphors?

“You said you weren’t going to laugh,” Ben complains, sounding a little disappointed.

“Oh, no, I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I…it’s…it sounds fun. A ledgerman, huh?”

“Well, I’ve also always wanted to learn claymation too.”

“Hmmmm.”

“Or, uh, maybe even teach full-time? I think this is going good,” Ben pauses. “Well, aside from the whole _sleeping-with-a-student_ thing. But–-”

“Do you know what I think?” She asks, hoping he’ll says yes because she really, really wants to tell him.

“What?”

Good enough. Leslie smiles. “You should definitely quit if you don’t love your job.”

“Really?” He sounds like that was an unexpected response.

“Yes. Jack London, Ben–- _you can’t wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club_. You shouldn’t be working at an accounting firm if it doesn’t make you feel impassioned and inspired, and if you don’t feel like you’re working hard at work worth doing, alongside a team of people you love…well, you should do something else,” she says, thinking of her own treasured position at the Parks and Recreations department and the co-workers that she’s definitely come to love.

After a few seconds of silence, Leslie also thinks that maybe she’s done it again–scared another one off with her tenacity and exuberance. All she really knows about Ben is that he seems to startle easily, he likes numbers and ledgers, has a great butt, and he has a three-legged dog.

And also, that he kicks the covers off during the night.

Leslie tries to backpedal and adds, “Sorry. Maybe that was too strong. It’s just…I don’t know you that well of course, but for someone who ran and won a mayoral election at eighteen–-”

“I was impeached in disgrace during my first year in office,” Ben reminds her.

“It doesn’t matter. You cared and you obviously thought you could make a difference and you tried. So, stop being an account if you don’t love it. Teach, or run for office again, learn claymation, or go make this Cones of Dumplings–-”

“ _Dunshire_.”

“Right. Do that.” What the hell? She might as well go for broke, Leslie thinks, before adding dramatically, “Jack London and I believe in you, Ben.”

There’s another short silence and she gets herself ready to hear about how she’s too bossy or too pushy or too overzealous, but Ben doesn’t use any of those familiar words.

Instead he surprises her and says, “Oh my god. You are so…I mean… _fuuuck_.” The last word it comes out as a slow, low exhale that makes her stomach flutter. “Leslie. I am so attracted to you right now.”

“Oh yeah?” She asks in a throaty, flirty voice…just like Ann taught her last year.

“Yeah. So, I know we shouldn’t socialize outside of class, but how unethical do you think it would be for me to tell you all about how much I really want to touch you and make you feel really, really good? How I wish I could be right inside all of that passion again. Right now while we’re on the phone?”

“I’d say that depends, Mr. Solo,” Leslie teases. “What are you wearing?”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes place in bed, but it is pretty mild.

“We really need to stop doing this, at least for the next week and a half,” Ben tells her groggily, as his fingers lightly skim across her bare hip.

Leslie smiles as she opens her eyes again and takes in the sight of Ben’s neat, sparse, and comfortable bedroom. It’s all clean lines and order, with a big bed and a soft plaid comforter. At six in the morning, she hadn’t really been sleeping anymore, just closing her eyes and waiting for him to wake up.

Okay, fine, so maybe she lightly kicked him, trying to hurry him up a little.

“Ending up in bed together while I’m taking your class?” She asks, while turning over on her side, careful to avoid breathing on him once they’re facing each other.

Yeah,“ Ben agrees, letting his hand wander down and over the top of her thigh. The sensation makes her feel a little goosebumpy, like she wants to jump on top of him and have Ben for breakfast.

"It’s like state government-mandated instruction with… _benefits_.”

Ben makes a face. “That does not sound very good.”

“Well, you know what I mean. And besides, we were consoling each other last night.”

Ben looks confused for a moment, before quickly adding. “Oh, yeah. Yeah. I mean…god, it’s so sad. I can’t believe he’s gone. Are you, um, doing okay?”

She had called him in tears the night before, right after hearing about Li'l Sebastian’s passing from Ron. Thirty minutes later, Leslie was standing in his living room in her sneaking-around clothes, Ben hugging her tight and assuring her that it was okay to cry.

After she’d managed to calm down a bit, they had spent a few minutes discussing their favorite memories of the little guy–Leslie told him all about the recent Harvest Festival and Ben said that not only had he attended the festival (she couldn’t help but wonder if their paths had ever crossed at the event?) but that he’d had a great time. He had also seemed really impressed that she and her team had organized the event, and insisted that Li'l Sebastian was definitely his favorite part.

In fact, Ben was so upset about the little horse, he seemed to have a hard time getting the words out.

Within the hour, they were in his bedroom.

This second time, they skipped the historical kissing, as well as Han and Abigail, and gotten right to the good part–doing it _Li'l Sebastian-style_ as a fitting tribute, Ben deep inside her from behind.

“Well, he was really old,” she tells him, turning to give him a wide awake morning smile. “And now Li'l Sebastian is in heaven and doing the things he loved most, eating carrots and urinating freely.”

Ben nods next to her. “Yeah. He was…um…an inspiration.”

“Really? With the urinating and all?” Leslie asks, laughing lightly.

“Well,” Ben grins at her, “I too enjoy a good carrot.”

“Ew,” Leslie comments, sitting up in bed. She doesn’t bother to pull the sheet up as she sits with her back against his headboard. “This is a great apartment.”

“Huh?” Ben asks and when she looks at him, his eyes are very obviously not on her face but…a bit lower.

“Is this a problem for conversation?” She teases him, enjoying the way he blushes just a bit at getting caught staring at her boobs so obviously. It makes her feel sexy and powerful, and she definitely likes it.

“Well, it depends on how um, much attention you want me to devote to what you’re saying,” he smiles at her. “I’m sorry, but…they’re very nice. I like them a lot. And if they’re just there, I kind of want to look at them.”

“You’re talking about my shoulders, right?”

Ben laughs and being here with him, like this, she can’t believe she ever thought he was terrible or a jerk.

“Yes. Your shoulders. Here.” He pulls the comforter up and presses the material lightly against her breasts. “So, my apartment. Well, yeah, it’s very nice too. But, now that I’ve given notice at the accounting firm, thanks to you and our mutual friend Jack London, it’s not really practical stay here. Besides, my lease is up at the end of the month, so I didn’t renew.”

“You’re looking for a new place to live? Soon?” Leslie looks over at the corner of his bedroom, where he has an overnight bag set out. It looks like he’s even started to pack.

“Oh that?” Ben motions towards the bag. “Unrelated. My brother and his wife are having babies. Twins. And Champion and I are taking a road trip to Chicago when it happens. It could honestly be any time now. I need to be ready to leave when I get the call.”

“Wow,” Leslie comments. Two babies, she can’t even imagine what a handful that would be. Although…

“Yeah. Twins actually run in my family and–”

“You know, I’ve been told I have an industrial-sized oven. That I could go triplets right off the bat,” she blurts out. Crap on a tricycle. She didn’t scare him off last week with her enthusiasm for being inspired by work, but now she can watch him run over her impressive and ample uterus.

“Oh, alright,” Ben says, eyes wide. “Um–”

“Sorry. I probably shouldn’t have said that.”

“No,” he shakes his head. “No. That’s okay. Good to know. That is good to know. But, um, yeah. I am looking for a cheaper place to live until I know what I’m going to be doing. I’m trying to be… _fiscally responsible_.” He tells her with a smirk, her over-share seeming to already be forgotten.

But really? Fiscal-responsibility? Class talk while in bed? That’s definitely against the rules. Leslie leans over quickly and pulls his side of the covers back, startling Ben in the process.

“Hey. What’s happening?”

“Checking for pants. Nope, just what I thought,” she comments, admiring his definite lack of pants. “That’s a penis.”

“That is accurate,” Ben agrees, nodding.

“You know what they say, penis out, calculator not out.” When he still looks confused she adds, “Going commando? No _Math_ -mando. If the one-eyed snake is awake, then–”

“Alright,” Ben laughs. “I get it. So, I am looking for a new place…just, um, because? So, can we uh…” he takes the covers from her and puts them back down, covering himself up, still clearly a bit flustered.

“But you’re staying in Pawnee, right?”

“Yeah,” he says slowly. “Why?”

“Because, I know just the place for you to live.”

“Really? Where?”

“My friends’ house. They're looking for a roommate,” she starts telling him and gets so excited that she lets the comforter fall down around her waist again. “April and Andy. She works in the Parks Department and is the most promising, gifted, beautiful government employee in the world and Andy also works in City Hall and gives great piggy-back rides. He’s also in the best band ever–Mouse Rat. Have you heard of them?”

“The band? Or your friends?”

“Oh, well, the band…or my friends,” Leslie confirms.

“Nope. Neither.”

“Well, you’ll love them. And–”

“But what about Champion? I need to move some place where I can have a dog.”

“Don’t worry, it’s perfect,” Leslie bounces up and down a little more in excitement, before adding, “focus Ben.”

“Sorry. I am paying one hundred percent attention.”

She’s pretty sure his attention is like sixty percent on her chest and forty percent on the words coming out of her mouth, but…she decides that she’s pretty okay with that.

“They love animals and it’s a house, so Champion will have a yard. Oh!” She bounces again, mainly because the expression he makes whenever she does is really, really cute–like a sexy, sleepy, aroused porcupine with his messy hair sticking up in all directions.

“It’s also only a few blocks from Ramsett Park so you can take him on walks. And not just a walk in any park. One of the best parks in the city, dare I say, all of Indiana. Probably the nation. A gem of a green space that is provided to the citizens of Pawnee by the local government, the Parks and Recreation Depart…” she stops talking when Ben pulls the covers all the way off her.

“Yep,” he nods. “Just as I suspected. No pants. In fact, if I am not mistaken, and I don’t think I am, that is definitely a _pu_ …” he stops talking abruptly and studies her. “Vagina?”

It’s so easy to forget that they’ve only known each other about two and a half weeks and that this is only the second time they’ve slept together. They’re still learning what the other likes and doesn’t and Ben is obviously trying not to offend her. She should probably help him out.

Instead, Leslie says, “I prefer _lady pocket_ ,” and then has to use all her will power to keep from giggling. Somehow she manages to keep it together and it’s completely worth it for the utterly confused look on Ben’s face.

“Seriously? Like a…calzone?”

“Ugh. No, Ben. I’m just kidding! Besides, a calzone? No one like calzones. They’re just pizza that’s harder to eat,” Leslie insists with a shudder, taking the covers from him. Ben, of course, is grinning all smugly and looks like he’s about to disagree, but before he can, she adds, “But, you’re right, I’m not wearing pants, so I will just say that you should move in with my friends because it’s near a really great place…with trees.”

“Do you have–”

“Yeah,” Leslie quickly leans over the side of the bed to grab her bag and as she does, she can feel Ben’s hand gripping her hip, probably to keep her from tumbling off the bed. It’s sweet. And yeah, he sort of squeezes her ass a little, but that’s definitely more than okay too.

When she returns she has her planner. Leslie pulls one of her business cards from the little compartment and grabs her pen from the elastic holder. “I’m going to give you one of my cards, but I’m going to write down April’s…well, actually, I think I’ll give you the phone number to the shoe polishing stand. You should talk to Andy first,” she says as she carefully writes out the number and correct extension and hands it to him.

“Andy Dwyer,” Ben reads out loud.

“Yeah. Your new roommate. Call him. Today.”

“Alright, Leslie. I will.” He smiles at her.

“Good. Ben,” she says his name slowly, unable to keep from grinning back. “Hey, you know what I think?”

“What?”

“I think Li'l Sebastian would want us to make out with each other, and then probably make pancakes.”

Ben studies her for a second and then moves closer, finally reaching out to touch her exposed skin. “I think you’re probably right about that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As it turns out, a lady-calzone is not at all that hard to eat.


	8. Chapter 8

Of course, it's a little disappointing, Leslie thinks walking down the hallway at Pawnee Community College, knowing that as soon as this last class is over, that Ben is going to go drive off to Chicago with Champion for who knows how long. 

How long does it usually take to meet a couple of babies? It's not like they can do much besides cry, eat, and poop. 

No, she tells herself, no, of course Ben should go be an uncle-- _Uncle Ben_. Leslie giggles at that. 

Besides, the two of them were going to need to find a way to keep their hands off each other for a few days anyway, just so it didn't look too obvious, so the birth of his brother's twins is fairly convenient. 

When Leslie gets to the classroom a few minutes early, Ben is at the desk in front and organizing test booklets, looking like a hot, sexy professor. God, yeah. And after this class is over, they're totally going to have to roleplay something like that. _Mmmmmm_...professor hot butt and she can be a naughty student. Oh! Or maybe she's the strict principal and he's the new teacher? So many possibilities.

"Hey," she tells him, trying to get her mind out of the gutter and into the mode to ace this test.

Ben looks up and grins as soon as he sees her. A big, wide flirty smile that makes the pit of her stomach flutter regardless of how much she tells herself to reign it in. 

"Oh, hi, Ms. Knope. It's nice to see you tonight."

She smiles back and hands him a bag. "I brought you an apple. You know, for being a great teacher."

"Really?" He asks, looking surprised and pleased. "Thank you. But...I thought _no one liked my class_." 

Now Ben is clearly messing with her, throwing her own words after the first class back at her. Jerk. 

Sexy, teasing, jerk.

She smiles. "I may have been exaggerating just a tiny bit."

"Oh, alright. Well, I appreciate the apple, then."

Leslie looks around the still empty classroom. Since they're still alone, she leans in and tells him, "It's not really an apple, I made you cookies and also some dog biscuits for Champion. For your trip."

Ben smiles at her, then down at the paper bag in his hands. He sets it on the desk. "That's really sweet. I'm sure we'll enjoy them."

"The cookies are chocolate chip and the biscuits don't have anything gross in them, so if you accidentally eat one of those, it should be okay. But the cookies are much better."

"Cookies for me, biscuits for Champion. Got it," he tells her, as students start coming in. Then he doesn't say anything else, just kind of smiles and blushes at her in a way that makes Leslie want to jump on him and climb him like a tree--a wise, coy, sexy oak tree in a cute brown cardigan.

Instead, she nods. "And you'd be really good at teaching...Mr. Wyatt. For real. If you wanted to do that. You'd be good at a lot of things," Leslie moves closer and says softer, "You are good at a lot of things."

"Well, Ms. Knope...you are very passionate and spirited. And I'm sure you'll also be great at whatever you get your little paws...um, fingers on."

Leslie laughs. "Well, I'm going to take my little paws and go get in my seat now."

And then she kind of walks backwards, grinning at him until she bumps into her desk. When she finally gets settled and gets her pen out in preparation for the test, she looks up again and sees Chris now also standing in front, right along with Ben.

"Hi class. Let's get started. I'm sure you all know Chris Traeger, Pawnee's City Manager?" Ben asks everyone as Chris smiles and waves. "Well, he's going to sit in for me tonight and collect the tests at the end of the session. I have a family situation and need to leave class early."

"Exactly. I'm just going to sit here and be so, so proud of all of you. Just bask in the glow of your new-found knowledge of Fiscal Responsibility," Chris says enthusiastically. 

"Right...so, Chris has an express mail envelope that he'll be dropping off after class, so your tests should be in Indianapolis by Monday morning first thing and the grades will be available by 5PM that afternoon. If you get at least and eighty percent on the test you'll get a certificate saying that you passed the course. And if you don't, you or a different department representative will need to take and pass this course the next time it's offered. I believe that's August in..." Ben riffles through some papers. "Snerling."

"Oh, Snerling," Chris says, enthusiastically. "I'm sure that will affect no one here, but if so, Snerling has a great health food store-- _Grain and Simple_. If you go, tell them Chris says _Hi!_ "

"Well, I'm sure you'll all do great," Ben tells the classroom, while handing out all the test booklets. He sits up front for a few minutes, just to make sure everyone is doing okay with their tests and then he grabs his briefcase and the bag of cookies and dog treats, and heads towards the door.

Leslie watches his cute little butt until it disappears into the hallway. And then she turns her attention back to her test booklet and begins to kick a little fiscal responsibility ass.

@ @ @ @ @ @ @

She gets a text from Ben late Thursday night, after she gets home from Ann's house after the class, letting her know that he got to his brother's alright and that he officially has two nieces--Chloe and Frances. And also that both he and Champion enjoyed the cookies and biscuits.

Friday morning, she even gets a photo of Ben holding a tiny baby in a hospital room. When she texts back and asks which one it is, he tells her that he's not really sure, but that they're both very small and wrinkly (but cute!) and that the twins look completely alike. And although Leslie and Ben text and email a couple of times over the next few days, she doesn't actually talk to him on the phone until Monday night. 

"I told you I would have no problem passing the test," she says, smiling as she sits on her couch, a plate of celebratory brownies in front of her.

"Yeah, well, you certainly passed it. I mean, you got a hundred percent Leslie. You didn't miss any of the questions. It was the highest score in the class."

"You sound surprised?" Leslie asks. 

"Well, no. Maybe? I thought you didn't believe in any of the _fascist hard-ass_ points I was making and then you got a perfect score."

"Oh, I still don't think you're right. But I'm excellent at taking tests."

Ben laughs, warm and happy in her ear. "Okay."

"But...I maybe see the benefit to keeping the department budget under control, and this weekend I may have come up with a plan that reduces the overall Parks and Recreation department's budget by twenty percent."

"You did that? Seriously?" He sounds surprised again. "Because of the class?"

"Seriously," Leslie confirms. "Because of _you_ and the class. And I'd actually appreciate it if you could take a look at it. Maybe when you get back into town?"

"I could do that. I'd be happy to do that. And, I'm actually driving back tomorrow. I was thinking we could have dinner? Kind of go out officially now that we don't have to sneak around while having an illicit student-teacher relationship."

"But I liked sneaking around while having an illicit student-teacher relationship."

She hears him laugh. 

"Yeah, Yeah. But...that was a disaster waiting to happen. Neither of us are that good at it. Plus, it honestly made me feel a little unethical and pervy. But now? We can just be pervy, but also one-hundred percent ethical."

"Yay!" Leslie says enthusiastically but then remembers that tomorrow is the first night of her soup-making class. And for how much she enjoys arguing with Ben over the importance of the community center classes, she kind of wants to start fresh when they do this thing for real. 

"Oh, wait, no. Sorry, I want to be pervy with you, but I actually have plans tomorrow. A plan. It's nothing, I mean, it's not a date or anything, with someone, just a prior engagement. A commitment. Just...how about the next night. Wednesday?"

There's a pause. "Oh, Wednesday works. I mean, if you can't do Tuesday," he tells her, sounding a little disappointed. 

"I want to," she repeats, "but I have a thing. It's...well, it's just a _thing_. No big deal. But hey, we still have to come up with a good story of how we met anyway."

"Um. You were in my class?"

"No. No. I mean, yes. I know that. But how we re-met," she tells him. "Maybe we unexpectedly ran into each other, somewhere cute, and then started dating."

"Like at the store?"

"Too boring," Leslie says.

Ben laughs. "But that was our actual situation. You tried to hide behind a box of cereal at the grocery store and then we went to a gay bar and you got me drunk and then seduced me with your blow job swilling and political kissing."

"No, you seduced me with your cute butt, coy demeanor, and grumpy fiscal responsibility."

"You seduced and inspired me with Jack London-talk and your Teddy Roosevelt biography," Ben says.

"See, that's what I mean. That sounds weird. We really need to come up with a better story, Ben. Plus, it has to be something that we can tell Chris that is completely ethical, but is also super adorable. Maybe it's that you ran into Andy at the store, decided to move in with them, and then I met you over there?"

"Maybe," Ben responds, but he really doesn't sound convinced. "Oh, and by the way, on that topic? Your friends are insane. But they seem to really like Champion already, so I think it'll work out." Ben pauses, the adds. "But they are seriously crazy."

"But you're still moving in, right?"

"Yeah. Next week."

"Good. Oh! I know! How about this--I entered a radio contest on Crazy Ira and the Douche and you entered the same one, and we both won in a tie and had to split the prize--a trip to Belize. No, we met there on the beach. No--we met in the ocean. I got a cramp in my side as I swam by and you rescued me."

There's a pause, before he asks, "Like in the movie _Grease_?" 

She doesn't have to be looking at him to know that Ben is making his adorable confused face.

"Yeah, but in Belize," she repeats. "It's not like we need to come up with songs. Oh, but if we did, that would be so awesome!"

"I don't know. Maybe we should pick something a little simpler. But, at least we have a couple of days to think about it," Ben adds.

@ @ @ @ @ @ @

When she gets to the classroom at Pawnee High School Tuesday night, the instructor is at the board, writing out:

SO YOU THINK YOU CAN'T MAKE A GOOD SOUP?

"Oh, Leslie. Hi."

"Hi Tanya," she returns. Great, Leslie thinks, she's probably going to try and sneak a salad recipe into the soup-making lessons.

"Take a seat anywhere on this side. We're going to have a brief lecture...you know, going over kitchen safety and basics like, _what is a vegetable?_ over here, and then we'll head over to the kitchen area and get cooking."

"Sounds good," she agrees, taking a seat. 

A lecture on vegetables? Maybe she should have just gone out with Ben tonight? 

Leslie's deep in thought over the choices she's made, when she realizes that someone is standing next to her. Someone in tan pants and a nice butt and...

"Is this seat taken?"

"Ben."

"Ms. Knope, hi. Wow, this is such a surprise, running into you."

"What are you doing here?"

"Oh, I don't know, I was browsing through the Parks Department catalog of community rec center classes and this fun-sounding, yet _fairly unnecessary_ soup-making class caught my attention. Imagine my surprise when I noticed it started tonight." 

Leslie laughs, and then makes a serious face, playing along with the Ben's planned serendipity. "Yes. Mr. Wyatt. I remember you. I was in your Fiscal Responsibility class last week," she says loudly, so most of the other students can hear her.

Ben smiles at her, nods his head. "You were. What a funny coincidence that we're now both taking this class." 

"Yes, the class that I insisted had a great deal of value to the community. It's so nice that you've realized that I was right," she smirks at him while Ben rolls his eyes, and mouths the words _damn pants_ at her. 

Then for good measure, Leslie adds, "Where absolutely no one has any kind of supervisory-type role over the other." 

When he finally sits down next to her, Ben leans in and says quietly, "So, when I figured out this must be what your prior engagement tonight probably was, I thought you might appreciate us re-meeting here. Besides, I was hoping to sit next to a girl that would let me practice my French kissing skills on her later. I hear these classes are good for that sort of thing."

Leslie grins. "Oh, I think that can be arranged. But what happened to, _uh, people should go buy a cookbook_?" She teases.

"All of mine are packed up," Ben cracks back.

Before she can respond, Tanya turns around to address the class. 

"Hi and welcome to So You Think You Can't Make a Good Soup, a four-week course on how to create simple yet elegant soups at home. Anyone can make a good soup--you just need the right ingredients and a little know-how. Over the next month, this class will be making a gazpacho, a clam chowder, chicken noodle soup, and a borscht. We'll even talk about salad accompaniments."

Leslie groans. 

"But tonight," Tanya continues, and then pauses to turn around and write on the board again. "We'll be making....turkey chili. The person sitting next to you will be your cooking partner when we head over to the class kitchen."

" _Mmmmmm_ ," Leslie says, raising her eyebrow in interest at the sexiness of the evening's soup and then touching Ben's knee under the table. "Turkey chili."


End file.
